The Good, The Bad, and The Gregory
by GoldMoonWizard
Summary: Sure you've all heard the story of this year's pageant as told by Beth Bradley, everyone has. But this is told by three people, Elmer Hopkins The Good , Claude Herdman The Bad , And Greg Jacobs The Gregory Based on character development for my family.
1. Intro

'lo everyone, I'm GMW, an actor/soon-director, and me and my family are in The Best Christmas Pageant Ever this year, so I decided to write a fanfic based on our characters point of view, they are proofreading, but I am writing. I got this idea from someone else who put their character development on here, I'm just doing the same.

GMW-Elmer Hopkins-Standard Writing

**Tom(GMW's 12 year old brother)-Claude Herdman-Bold Print**

_Nate(GMW's 11 year old brother)-Gregory Jacobs-Italics_

Please enjoy, R&R, and don't flame, I'm doing all this on stage and I've gotten a standing ovation for how we play our characters so I know it's not THAT bad

The Good, The Bad, and The Gregory

By Elmer Hopkins

_By Greg Jacobs_

**By Claude Herdman**

By All Three

Introduction

My name is Elmer J. Hopkins, My father is the Reverend Hank Hopkins at the local church, my mother is Dr. Julianne Hopkins and works at the hospital, and I have two little siblings, Zona and Abe. Our family is a nice one, and we're pretty well liked throughout the city, my little sister is best friends with Janice Abrams, and either we're over at their house, or Janice and her family of 5 kids and their father, Fire Chief Monroe Abrams, are at our house for dinner every week. My little brother is great friends with Tommy and Wendy Slocum, the Sunday School Teacher's children. And I'm great friends with Hobie Clark, Quinn Drummond and Ursula Bennett. Yeah, we live a nice little life. I like being the minister's son, though Zona says that there's too much pressure that comes along with it. I think that it's great to have a dad that knows so much about everything. The only thing I don't like about being Reverend Hopkins' son is that EVERY year at the Christmas pageant I play Joseph, without fail. I'm sick of doing it too. I'm 16 years old and I've been playing that part since I was 10, which is younger than Paul Abrams' age, so I keep asking him to play the part every year. I mean, it wouldn't be too bad if we had a good looking girl as Mary, like Quinn, but I'm stuck with Alice Wendleken. Every. Single. Year. I can't stand it anymore. But while I desperately wanted to stop being Joseph, I would've paid to play the part if I could have stopped what happened

_Introduction_

_My name is Gregory Jacobs. Like Elmer did, I'm going to tell you about my family, we think that you need to know about us before we tell you what happened at this year's Christmas Pageant. My father's name is Bruno Jacobs, and he's a Fireman, so I know the Abrams family pretty well, though I wouldn't say I'm friends with too many of them, Janice and Veronica scare me, Paul's crazy, and Bobby's a double jointed little kid, I stay away from him. But David's a cool kid and I hang out with him a lot. But I'm really good friends with Charlie Bradley. I'm an only child, which I don't mind that much, except that dad expects me to be great, and puts me in the pageant every year, of course I'm just a shepherd, but even that wasn't desirable this year, when _They_ came._

**Introduction**

**Yo, I'm Claude Herdman and I have 5 brothers and sisters, 2 older, 2 younger, and a twin Brother, Leroy. My older siblings, Imogene and Ralph, are in charge of our outfit, but they're good people, to us at least. The little kids, Gladys and Ollie, are making me proud, they're just as cruel and vicious as we are, and it brings tears to my eyes. Everyone thinks we're some kind of monsters, and they're right. Leroy insists that we steal and wham and attack just to get what's needed for our family, but I like it, and I beat kids up 'cause it's fun. But you know what was even more fun than terrorizing kids? Terrorizing kids and being the stars of a play!**


	2. And That's Not All

The Good, The Bad, and The Gregory

Chapter One-And That's Not All

"The Herdmans were the worst kids in the history of the world!" That's how Beth Bradley describes them, and I always thought that she was exaggerating, even though Zona insisted that Beth was making an Understatement, and Abe agreed with her. Abe and Zona being on the same page was rare, but I ignored them. But I kept hearings stories about how bad they were. Abe talked to Tommy Slocum about them setting fire to a shed, Zona heard from Janice Abrams about Claude Herdman attacking everyone in his class with a crazed cat, Dad was talking to Mr. Waddle about them putting a bad word on his daughter Naomi's turtle. And Mom mentioned to us that the teacher Ms. Olsen drank tadpoles because of them and is now in the hospital. But I still didn't believe that the Herdmans were that bad, until I got jumped by Gladys on the way home one day…

"_The Herdmans were the worst kids in the history of the world!" That's how I describe the monsters that go to my school. I've had more than my share of run-ins with Ollie and Claude. But then again so has everyone else in the town, even one is more than anyone deserves. But I don't complain, that would be worse than suicide! Instead I just hide from the kids whenever I can. But since Claude Herdman is in my class that's kind of a hard thing to do. Fortunately Claude's twin brother Leroy isn't in my class, unfortunately he's in Charlie Bradley's, so he attacks me after school often when I hang with Charlie. But Claude is still the worst, especially when he brought that cat to school…_

** "The Herdmans were the worst kids in the history of the world!" That's how everyone describes us, and it's a reputation I try hard to uphold. I don't care who it is, I'll terrorize anyone, except little girls, Imogene has threatened to kill me if I ever beat up a little girl really badly, and I know she would do it too, only Gladys is allowed to beat up little girls, and she does it enough for all 6 of us. But since I can't beat up little girls, I beat up little boys, and all other girls and boys too. But the kids in my class, like Harriet McCarthy, and Paul Abrams, those kids are the best to beat on. Like I did with my cat at Show and Tell…**

I was walking with Hobie, Quinn and Ursala, like I usually do. I was talking with the three of them when Hobie nudged me, he knew that I liked Quinn, she was a great girl, a lot of boys in our class liked her too, but she still talked to me, which was a good sign. And if I'm not mistaken, Ursala nudged Quinn as well. So I started edging closer to Quinn when that evil girl sprang out of nowhere and knocked the two of us over, as I helped Quinn up, Gladys pushed Hobie into Ursala, knocking the two of them over, which would probably leave a mark on Ursala because Hobie is a pretty big kid. And then she swung a fist at me. Even though that girl is still only 7 or 8, I don't keep track, she still left a bruise, and it hurt. I managed to get her off of me, but she bit my arm, and I threw her aside, I don't believe in violence, but I was ready to hurt that little girl when she ran off giggling. From that point on I didn't doubt that the Herdmans were the most evil kids in the town.

_It was Show and Tell, and I had brought in French Toast, and I kept saying I brought something from another country, but Ms. Brandell still wouldn't let me go first. She picked Claude Herdman, who said "Well ma'am, we have a sign in front of our house that says beware of the cat" That got a laugh from all of us, he brought a sign for show and tell? "Well this is the cat!" Uh oh. "MEOW" The cat came leaping out of the box straight at Abe Hopkins, poor kid. After scratching Abe a couple times it leapt at another kid, I lost track of who as the furry beast launched itself at me scratching a couple times, I screamed in pain, as did everyone else. Ms. Brandell sent us into the hall and we waited there and she stormed in and yelled at Claude, who stood up to her, brave/stupid kid, I wasn't sure which. He went back into the room to get the cat and the teacher asked us who needed a band-aid, but wouldn't give any of us one because there wasn't enough blood. But we all forgot that as we ran out for recess._

** We were told to bring something that we wanted everyone else to see, so I brought in my cat Biter. I wanted everyone to see how vicious my kitty was. So I brought him in a big box, and told everyone about the "Beware of Cat" sign, they laughed, poor fools "This is the Cat" I said smugly as I opened the crate and Biter lunged at some random kid whose face won't look the same for a few weeks before attacking some other kids. "Go out into the hall children" the old hag said to us, so I did with everyone else, laughing the whole way, and glaring at anyone who dared look at me wrong. Ms. Brandell finally came out of the room and scolded me "Claude Herdman, why didn't you catch that cat" I looked her in her eyes, and saw her quaver slightly. "You told us to come out into the hall" I said flatly "Ma'am" I added insultingly. "Well so I did, so go catch that cat, NOW" I shrugged and grabbed Biter, put him in the box and went home, leaving crying kids in my wake, not bad for a day's work.**


	3. Reflections

Sorry bout the late time, life's been falling apart. But here's the next chapter, please Review, I write these stories to save my sanity (or what's left of it) and to try to relive the play. Okay forget what I just said about sanity. But I also love to here what you think about me. But be warned, Flamers will be fed to Gladys, Ollie, Gladys, Claude, Gladys, Leroy, Gladys, Ralph, Imogene, Gladys, Biter, Gladys, and Abe. In that order

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own BCPE, I do however own my thoughts, and I wish I owned the costumes I got to wear while I did own the character**

The Good, The Bad, and The Gregory

Chapter 2-Reflections

After my encounter with Gladys, the Herdmans seemed to love "spending time" with me. Most of that was spent with me face first on the floor, and though I defended myself occasionally from Ralph, unsuccessfully I might add, Claude, Leroy, and Ollie were little kids, and Gladys and Imogene were girls, I wasn't going to fight any of them. And because of that resolve, the ground resolved to be my best friend. Being at church suddenly became my favorite thing in the world, because the Herdmans would never come. I think it's because as Christians we make it a habit to cast demons out of the congregation, and they are the most real demons I know. And even worse than the fact that the Herdmans loved attacking me was the fact that Quinn and I were so embarrassed by being knocked down together that we couldn't even look at each other straight in the eye for months, it was early November by the time we talked again, almost 2 months after that fateful incident. But by the time that people started thinking about the Pageant for this year we were _very_ close friends again. But then all fell apart in the week and a half before dad's announcement.

_Claude didn't bring his cat back to school and we were all relieved to know that. But that didn't stop him from coming up with new ways to torture us. And the teachers, principals, and POLICE trying to stop them did no good. But considering all the things they've done, who was really surprised that they didn't care about the rules. After getting scared half to death it took a little bit of time to get fully back into the school swing. But I managed it without too much difficulty. And it was a good thing too, because it was coming close to the time where our focus would all have to be on the Christmas Pageant. None of us knew how true that statement was._

**I got a talking to from Ralph about taking the cat to school to terrorize everyone. He said next time ask first. I knew he was proud of me though. But we all seemed to get bolder as time went by, not even the church kid Elroy wasn't safe, him or his girlfriend Quilt. Not since Gladys got first swing on him, marking him as Herdman Prey. Our system of order was simple; Imogene was in charge, whatever she said, goes. Ralph was the big thief, he stole money, and food, from stores to provide for us. Ollie simply beat up everyone, he was our grunt, so to speak. Gladys was the huntress, we couldn't attack a kid individually until she did, and then that kid was open territory, except for little girls. We also picked one child that only we could attack, except for Gladys since she got all little girls that were too young for Ollie's class. Ralph picked a kid name Joseph Golan, he was some rich kid, good choice by Ralph. Imogene picked Alice Wendleken, a pompous brat, another good choice. Ollie targeted his classmate Pamela Kramer. Leroy had Charley Bradley, an overall nice kid, great choices everyone. I picked a girl in my class that I found pretty, I had a need to hit her, and I think it was to touch her, but I'm not sure. Her name was Harriet McCarthy.**

As I mentioned before, my mom works at the hospital, so she knows whenever someone gets hurt, and tells us at dinner. The day after Thanksgiving, Mrs. Helen Armstrong, the lady who runs our Christmas Pageant every year, broke her leg and was in the hospital until New Year. That was bad news for the pageant. So people spent a lot of time asking who would run the pageant, they tried my mom, dad, and even ME. And they had asked me that just when I was resigned to playing Joseph, especially since I had gotten Quinn to agree to try out for Mary, of course Ursala was trying out too, but I just had to pray that Quinn would be picked. Mrs. Bradley agreed to run the pageant for this year, so that gave us a good chance of Alice not being picked, because while Alice Wendleken played Mary every year, she wasn't the only person who tried out, Mrs. Armstrong just liked her more. But not many people knew what Dad's announcement would be, or who would be there to hear it.

_All during October and the beginning of November we rehearsed a song in Sunday School to sing for the Adults, Mrs. Slocum chose This Little Light of Mine. It was nice enough song, but not my favorite. We also had to write down our favorite thing about church. I had to think about that, I was going to say that my favorite things was that no Herdmans ever came, but I decided against it and put that my favorite was the snacks. But Charlie said aloud what we were all thinking, in front of the adults, "My favorite thing about church is that there are no Herdmans" and every child nodded, but Mrs. Slocum wasn't happy, but she doesn't like them either, I could tell. Thankfully that news never leaked out to the Herdmans, they never found out about Charlie's statement, which was good, since it would mean death for all of us that hung out with him._

**Oh! I never mentioned what mine and Leroy's job was. Well, like Ollie, we just beat kids up. But our main job was to steal their lunches. Not only did we get good food, we also got good information about the people from their cries of protest. It was also fun to hear them cry period. Harriet proved to be the perfect choice, she always had a great lunch, and she also tried fighting back occasionally, this was some girl! Of course, Leroy's target, Charlie Bradley, gave us the best information yet. While beating on him one day, Leroy was told by Charlie that they had refreshments at a place called Sunday School. That thought alone made me interested and repulsed at the same time. Learning, on SUNDAY? But school was my favorite place, besides the learning, it was the most fun place with all the screaming children. So if we got free food and fun, what better place could there be?!**


End file.
